Some stupid questions and some interesting Quotes!!!

Here are some of stupid questions with smart answers..... these are few years back, where my friends e-mailed me...

Boy: May I hold your hand?
Girl: No thanks, it isn't heavy.

Girl: Say you love me! Say you love me!
Boy: You love me...

Girl: If we become engaged, will you give me a ring??
Boy: Sure, what's your phone number??

Girl: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
Boy: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.

Girl: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
Boy: Don't you ever want to improve??

Man: You remind me of the sea.
Woman: Because I am wild, romantic and exciting?
Man: No, because you make me sick.

Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband: You tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out of her mouth.

Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?
Peter: A bit of both. I think you are pretty ugly.

Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil: "The moon."
Teacher: "Why?"
Pupil: " The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light in the day when we don't need it."

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colours do you have?

Patient: What are the chances of my recovering, doctor?
Doctor: One 100%. Medical records have shown that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case that I 've treated. The others all died.

Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
Student: Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day and at the same time.


HERE ARE SOME QUOTES BY FAMOUS PEOPLE!!!!

Albert Einstein: Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity!

Robert Frost: The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Franklin P. Jones: The trouble with being puntual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble!!

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them!

Forgive your enemies but remember their names!!